Moerderspinnen.
Ihave finally relieved myself of a terrible burden. For those of you who are married, you most likely will understand, although it is questionable.
For years, the overwhelming desire for Mrs. Buddy has been a new model Volkswagen Beetle. She'd never been in one, it was all about the looks for her. "It's a happy car" she'd say, therefore it was inevitable that on a trip to the mall in our smokey, fourteen year old luxury car that shows just a wisp of its former glory, she would mention something about when "she got her bug."
That is, until she met the Honda Element.
A chance encounter at a short-lived job combined with bad personal reviews (from me) about the comfort of a Beetly transit tore her away from her beloved Bug and instilled a sense of lust over something new. The Honda Element was her new desire.
She never said "an Element." The proper term was "Hondaelement" said as if it were one long name. Occasionally we would promise ourselves we would test drive a Hondaelement to make sure the same fate as the Beetle was avoided in this case, but we never got around to it.
People often say marijuana is a gateway to harder, more harmful substance abuse. I believe that the Nissan X-Terra served much the same function as pot in this case, busting through the gate and holding it open for Mrs. Buddy's Elementary overdose. It's been only a little over a month that we have had the X-Terra and already we've moved on to shinier, newer experiences.
So, after having two cars sacrifice themselves to us on the road, having driven usedmobiles since we met, having barked my knuckles on engine blocks and kept the dying heaps of bolted rust running from month to month for too many goddamned years, I think we have earned the pleasure of getting something I don't have to tear into to make it work or worry that the people in the Chick-fil-a drive through are dying from exhaust poisoning when we go to get some dinner. The doors open and close, the hood doesn't fly open while I am driving, the batteries and the starters and the alternators are all in good working order and I don't have to become someone who can rip them out and replace them in less than 45 minutes.
But the ultimate, the best thing in the world about our new cars is that finally, I no longer have to hear my beloved Mrs. Buddy dream about her Hondaelement that she is one day going to own, perhaps when she's fifty.
For years, the overwhelming desire for Mrs. Buddy has been a new model Volkswagen Beetle. She'd never been in one, it was all about the looks for her. "It's a happy car" she'd say, therefore it was inevitable that on a trip to the mall in our smokey, fourteen year old luxury car that shows just a wisp of its former glory, she would mention something about when "she got her bug."
That is, until she met the Honda Element.
A chance encounter at a short-lived job combined with bad personal reviews (from me) about the comfort of a Beetly transit tore her away from her beloved Bug and instilled a sense of lust over something new. The Honda Element was her new desire.
She never said "an Element." The proper term was "Hondaelement" said as if it were one long name. Occasionally we would promise ourselves we would test drive a Hondaelement to make sure the same fate as the Beetle was avoided in this case, but we never got around to it.
People often say marijuana is a gateway to harder, more harmful substance abuse. I believe that the Nissan X-Terra served much the same function as pot in this case, busting through the gate and holding it open for Mrs. Buddy's Elementary overdose. It's been only a little over a month that we have had the X-Terra and already we've moved on to shinier, newer experiences.
So, after having two cars sacrifice themselves to us on the road, having driven usedmobiles since we met, having barked my knuckles on engine blocks and kept the dying heaps of bolted rust running from month to month for too many goddamned years, I think we have earned the pleasure of getting something I don't have to tear into to make it work or worry that the people in the Chick-fil-a drive through are dying from exhaust poisoning when we go to get some dinner. The doors open and close, the hood doesn't fly open while I am driving, the batteries and the starters and the alternators are all in good working order and I don't have to become someone who can rip them out and replace them in less than 45 minutes.
But the ultimate, the best thing in the world about our new cars is that finally, I no longer have to hear my beloved Mrs. Buddy dream about her Hondaelement that she is one day going to own, perhaps when she's fifty.
posted by Primate Buddy | 11:02 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah. I got it exactly 16.3 years sooner! Yeah!
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